New normal of grieving adds prolonged, extra layer of trauma for bereaved

A new normal of grieving is adding a prolonged and extra layer of trauma for the bereaved.

News 12 Staff

Apr 30, 2020, 9:06 PM

Updated 1,490 days ago

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A new normal of grieving is adding a prolonged and extra layer of trauma for the bereaved.
Many families say they are struggling to find closure after a loved one died during the COVID-19 outbreak. Those who are grieving say they are devastated by not being able to see the loved one before they died.
Masses have also been postponed, and there have been burials without families. Some wakes and shivas have been streamed online - if they have been held at all.
But like the virus itself, grief experts say there is no magic remedy.
Terri Agliardo, who is the religious chair of the Ursuline School and bereavement counselor at Coxe & Graziano Funeral Home, says she thinks that down the road she and others like herself are going to be very busy because it’s very hard to do that type of work virtually.
She says there are things that can be done to fill the void.
It starts with acknowledging the pain of one’s loss.
Agliardo says when you lose a loved one, there are no words anyone can say to take the pain away.
While the rituals one may have wanted for a loved one might not be an option, Agliardo says people can create new ones to help honor them, like designing a memory quilt, listening to their favorite songs or even creating a photo montage to share with friends and relatives online.
She says people can also make a journal to record their memories, join an online grief group or make big plans post COVID-19.
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